YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR RETIREMENT PLAN.

Shola, is the second of three children born to my neighbour. Her parents showered her with so much attention, paid all her tuition fees on time and she had priority over her siblings’, the reason being she wanted to be a doctor and broadcasted it to as many who cared to listen. 

 She finished secondary school got all the support with extra tutoring, lesson teachers and she excelled academically. She gained admission at first attempt to study medicine at the prestigious Alma Mata University of Ibadan to the utter delight and praise of her parents, family and friends. 

This got me thinking (Shola was now my close friend) - why was she given priority over her siblings?

 What qualities did she possess that they didn't? 

I later realized that she was seen as their fall back plan in the grey days (retirement) and was being nurtured to fulfil the purpose.

This was also because she chose a career they believed would make her successful in a few years in comparison with her siblings; she was very focused and well behaved and will definitely not fail them in the future. 

Many of our parents spent time and money to train us inspite of limited resources because they believed that we would be their fall back plan in their old and grey days. We were set up as their retirement funds plan.

Are you presently fulfilling that desire?

While there is nothing wrong with that ...I dare say my generation and the one before me may be the last to fulfil that aspiration of aged parents and I’ll tell you why I say so.

Lest I forget, lets complete the story about Shola. While In her second year in university she decided to travel abroad to further her aspirations in medicine and had to start her education all over again in the US. She had to take on more professional courses which required her parents spending more.

As we speak, she is still in pursuit of more certifications requiring so much money   to the dismay of her parents who have long retired, had to sell their house in the city and move back to the village while Shola is still chasing certifications and has failed to fulfil their retirement plans.

Have you noticed that retiring early at 65 years has become a myth?

At work one day I realized that all my colleagues were in their early 50's to late 60's and many close to 65. The youngest of that group were in their 50's. This puzzled me deeply, so I questioned (those close to me) why they refused to draw up the curtains and say goodbye to their 9- 5 jobs. 

Their answers aren’t farfetched if you took a guess you'd be right....fear of tomorrow and the new day reality - no guarantees that any of their children would take care of them; infact, some children were waiting for their parents to die so they could take over the little investments and assets they managed to acquire (cold but very true!) 

Some of these old colleagues were still fending for their children even though their children were out of school and already gainfully employed. 

A lot of parents, these days are coming to realize that it is only a compassionate child who remembers home and brings something back to say thank you.   Many of today’s millennial feel so entitled to the education they got and see no reason to give back to their parents.

I’ve laid out this tale just to open your eyes and mind that times have since changed and the proverbial ‘my children will pay me back’ for the education I gave them OR ‘my child is my retirement plan’ table has been broken!

No longer is it your right or your child’s responsibility to take care of you when you are old.

You are responsible for your retirement plan, not your children. If they come back and remember to give back kudos but no longer is it your entitlement!

If you have years on your side, good for you!

Start to build your retirement plan today! It doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, ensure you have your own retirement plan period!  

It's a plan - it requires you making decisions to start and stay focused and continuously build it. It's not as fearsome as it sounds and don't wait until you are old to start. However you see it, you sure will need one for yourself tomorrow.

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